Sunday, September 23, 2012

When you can hear their smiles in their text responses....

Yep that's when you know you're a surrogate. 

I recorded the Canadian's heartbeat yesterday and texted the video to the guys.  They are really starting to get excited.  It took us so long to get pregnant this time (I truly had SETs...for some reason my body always gets pregnant with one less than we put in...other than that first time fiasco of putting in 3 and getting 4 so every time I put in 1 I don't get preggo.  I know that SETs are the gold standard now but I am so glad we put in 2 the final time.  I truly believe we would not have a Canadian growing had we only put in 1) that I don't think it has truly sunk in for the guys that there is indeed a baby in residence.  In two weeks they will see that baby with their own eyes.  Can't wait to see their faces.  :)

Friday, September 21, 2012

I want her life

So first read this post about a day in Jeni's life:

Sounds pretty good right? 

I wonder what it would be like to have the courage to live the life I want?  Will I ever get that courage?  What is stopping me right now? 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

First belly pic

Really no belly yet to speak of and I look hideous becasue I had just gone for my morning walk but here it is.  18 weeks today.  I look pregnant if I lay down but standing up I just look a little thicker around the middle.  I should "pop" in another month or so. 

In other news our horridly long weeks at the lab have ended and things are nice and normal again.  Woo hoo.  We survived. 
Nothing surrogacy related going on.  Oh and yes I know i need to refinish the floor in the picture above.  We are slowing ripping up carpets and finding some wood floor underneath.  This house is a project that will never be done. 

Friday, September 7, 2012

No words

I cannot even put into words the multitude of emotions that Bernadette's blog evokes in me.  You would think that after years of infertility she would be entitled to healthy children.  But I guess in this life no one is entitled to that and those of us with healthy children should just be grateful.  I wish I could think of some way to help her but sadly this is a path that she and her husband and her children must walk.  The whole situation makes me sad and angry.  I know that life isn't fair but sometimes it seems too unfair to others.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


Sometimes someone gets it so right that all you need to do is point in their direction and their words  say it all.  This article is one of those times.

I have always said that not everyone will "get" surrogacy and it is rather presumptuous of me to assume that my viewpoint on surrogacy is the right one.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion and there will always be those who think that what surrogates do is wrong.  I can honestly say that I have never met anyone, even the nurses who start out thinking that surrogacy is wrong, who's viewpoint stands up very long when they see the new parents holding their baby.  That look, not only the "Thank you" that Kym speaks of in her article but just the look of overwhelming joy and peace and the look of "Finally we are a family"  is the sole reason I'm a surrogate.  It makes the pain and the hassle and the misunderstandings of others all worth it.  I feel sorry for those who have never been in the room to witness that look.  Fellow surrogates get it.  Parents through surrogacy get it.  If the rest of the world doesn't, that's ok by me. 

Monday, September 3, 2012

Ouch, small goal reached, large goal reached

First for the ouch:  My cars owie was a water pump.  676 dollars later it runs again.  Well except it still says low coolant so back to the shop it goes and back to driving the truck I go.  Luckily it is supposed to be 95 degrees tomorrow so the non-airconditioned truck should be awesome. 

Small goal:  Finally, finally, finally have a guest bedroom in the house.  Over the years, on and off, we've had a guest room but then one of the older kids would need a bed in their house so we'd give them the guest bed and then the room would morph into some other use.  When we bought the dryer and turned the laundry room into a workout room, that allowed the old workout room to become a guest room (confused yet?  So is my hubster. He never knows what a room will be when he walks into it.)  Anywho, today my mom made her guest room into a workout room and gave us her old futon which is actually nice and thick and makes a perfect bed and voila, we have a guest room. It is something small but we have friends coming down for visits several times in the next few months and it's nice to have dedicated room to put them. 

Large goal:  Have I spoken about the husband's mustang obsession?  No? Lucky you.  The man never shuts up about mustangs.  I have been stashing money away for two years to satisfy this need of his and Friday I told him he could buy the one he had his eyes on.  He almost cried.  Of course there's one small doesn't run but that will be fixed tomorrow (if you are keeping track that will be two cars in two different shops tomorrow). 

16 weeks pregnant now.  Still not really showing.  Feeling occasional movement but not a ton. 

I talked to my mom a lot today about my job situation and what to do.  After talking with her I'm more sure than ever of my choice to quit and just do transcription.  Now to just actually do something about it.  I have never been so sure of a decision in my life and yet so incapable of pulling the trigger on it.  Quick someone send me some balls...I apparently need some.