Saturday, July 24, 2010


I have been having some issues with a c0-worker regarding surrogacy. I don't talk about surrogacy at work unless someone asks me. In fact most people at the plant don't even know I'm preggo. Anywho, I have one guys who has been coming to the lab every day to ask question/make snide remarks about surrogacy. They have been rude and horrid comments and I have tried to bite my tongue. I made it through him asking why I didn't sell my own kids to earn a few extra bucks. I made it through him asking how I can sleep at night after milking people for money. I even made it through him asking if I was going to go to Sweden to claim "what is mine" if my IF passes from cancer. But his comments yesterday were so bad that I finally had had enough. In front of a manager I let this guy have it. I told him he was a heartless good for nothing SOB and that he had neither the mental capacity or the heart to understand surrogacy. And I told him that if he was going to call me a money-grubbing uterine whore, he should at least have to balls to accuse me straight out instead of dropping rude and snide comments. Later I apologized to the manager and he said he supports surrogacy 100% and that he only stayed in the room because he thought I might kill the guy. Love this manager by the way.

I am still flip flopping about whether to quit my job. I would love to have the extra time but I also love working in my field and I love having money to do what we want when we want. Until I am 100% sure what to do, I will stay where I am.

The baby has had a huge growth spurt. I have gained something like 17 pounds (egads, I know) and I think this baby is going to end up weighing at least 8 pounds. I have another midwife appointment in two weeks. The baby is finally starting to move on a daily basis.

The guys told me names that they had picked. The picked one boy name that is okay and two girl names. I love one girl name and the other is okay. I will continue to call it Cletus the Fetus until the end.

I have pondered gathering a few supplies just in case I labor really quickly and end up delivering at home. I hesitate though because I don't want it to look as if I'm preparing for a home birth since I think that would come across wrong. Surrogacy is really complicated sometimes when you want to do the right thing but don't want the parents to think you are doing the wrong thing. If I don't have anything here and I have one of my historically fast labors, then I will have nothing to cut the cord with, nothing to dress the baby in, etc. Not good. But if I buy stuff for cord care and a pack of diapers and one outfit and have one of my historically fast labors, the guys might think that I planned to homebirth even though they didn't want me to and I would never want them to think that. Guess I will ponder more on that.

Joe's brother is driving down today to look at land that he wants to buy. He is driving in his new Mercedes. He has still not settled the estate but is suddenly rich. Hmmmmm. Not jumping to conclusions is really difficult in this situation.

Guess that is it from my boring life. We are going to a resort next weekend with horseback riding. It is still 100 degrees here every day. I am ready for fall.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Media coverage and surrogacy

If you know anything about the surrogacy world, you know that surrogates are not well thought of in the media. We are uterine whores. We are only in it for the money. We live off of government subsidies and prey on women or men that dream of being parents. We are the lowest of the low and if you allow us to grow your child, our genetics may not be involved but our white-trashiness will rub off. I get so tired of it. It doesn't help that some surrogates perpetuate the myths by being just what the critics think we are. I would like to set the record straight about most surrogates though. I have done several interviews to try to get the story of real surrogates out there. Unfortunately even though the articles are fact checked a million times there are always errors. I don't know why I care what others think about me but for the record, here are the facts in my case:

* I make more in nine months at my job than I do as a surrogate. Alot more.
* I am not on any form of public assistance. I buy my own food, health insurance, etc.
* I am in surrogacy for many reasons, but mainly to help others have a family. My greatest benefit is not the money but the joy and happiness I see on the faces of the parents when their dream is fulfilled.
* I have a college degree in Chemistry with minors in Biology and Psychology. I graduated summa cum laude even though I put myself through college with five kids and a husband to take care of.
* I am the breadwinner in my family.
* I do not "milk" my IPs for anything. I don't submit alot of expenses that I could and I even paid almost four grand out of pocket this time for my midwife since she wasn't covered by my health insurance and I didn't feel it was fair for me to charge them when my insurance would cover an OB. of my soapbox. Next time you see a surrogate, try to judge less and understand more. Yes, she might be a money grubbing, non working, uterine whore. But more likely she's a hard working woman who helps others in her spare time. Most of us do work. Most of us are educated. Most of us do care. Right now, I'm exhausted and cranky. I work 45 hours a week and I make sure my pregnancy does not affect my job and my job does not affect my pregnancy. And yet when this baby kicks, it brings a smile to my face because this is something I want to be doing.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It's been awhile

Gosh I have been gone for awhile. Not much going on pregnancy wise. The baby grows and so do I. I am still loving the more natural approach that the midwives use. I have finalized in my head my plan for labor and delivery....I will labor at home ,with my midwife in attendance and will walk the block down the road to the local hospital to deliver. I think the guys were hoping I would drive to Columbia like last time but I plan on waiting long enough at home that an hour long drive would not be smart. Of course I will head to the hospital sooner if there are any complications.

On the job front.....I'm done. I've pondered this decision for months and I always manage to talk myself into staying.....but then a week later I am fantasizing about leaving. So the plan is that I will give my two week notice in mid August and my last day will be the kids' first week of school. Until the baby comes I will putter around the house and help out at the kids' schools, etc. After the baby comes, maybe 3 or 4 months postpartum, I will find a part time job. I saw a ton of part time lab positions in the closest large town and if I could find one there a few days a week that would be ideal. If not, I will work here in town part time. Bottom line is, I miss my family and I'm sick and tired of working 45 hours a week so that my boss can take all the credit even though she is rarely there. It's a scary decision but one I'm definitely ready for.

Have not heard much from the guys. I think they are still annoyed with me about the midwife. And they are busy with such things as two year old twins and stage four cancer. It is a very strange journey. Very strange indeed.

Joe's brother is coming next weekend for a visit. I will try my hardest not to interrogate him regarding when/if Joe might be receiving some money from his parents' estate. I am not holding my breath but a bit of news would be nice.

I have no other news at all. I am still thinking this baby is a boy because he is very inactive. Hopefully the pregnancy will continue to be boring as heck.

Monday, July 5, 2010


Well we had a wonderful weekend at the resort. More on that later. Running out to the grocery store but just had to post that I was with my family (parents, sister, grandpa, etc) for 3 hours yesterday and no one noticed I was preggo. The belly is really just not that big yet so yay. No awkwardness about surrogacy at the family GTG. Now to just get through my nieces wedding in 5 weeks. I will be almost 25 weeks at that point. Where is the nearest corset store?