Wednesday, January 26, 2011

8 weeks already

Tomorrow I am 8 weeks postpartum. Life has resumed and is back to normal, whatever that is. I get a text message maybe once a week from the guys. No pics yet but they are busy. After over 3 years of so much contact with them it feels strange to have them drifting away but it is natural and I know it. Even if the friendship dies because of distance, I will always know that there is a family in Sweden that is there in part because of me.

Joe and I are currently in week 4 of p90x. It is not too hard but not too easy. My legs are getting toned up and my glutes are also. My arms look bigger but are not cut at all so they just look fat. Urgh. Abs are mushy and gushy still.

I have been pumping for a local baby but the mother never acted like she needed the milk. It was more a matter of her doing me a favor and taking the milk so I didn't have to throw it away. Anywho, I am almost done pumping....down to 3 times a day and only getting maybe 16 ounces total for the whole day. And when Joe took her milk on Sunday she said she was so glad to have it because she couldn't afford formula. Egads. I wish she had told me that earlier. Now I'm tempted to cycle my milk supply back up but I really, really, really don't want to be pumping anymore. I will continue my 3 times a day pumpings but I don't think I will go back to 4. I expect to be done pumping in less than a week. I am so torn about it though. I hate stopping. It is very emotionally satisfying to pump and it really only costs me maybe 5 dollars a week for bags.

Still not feeling as if I will do another surrogacy. Guess if I am retired I will have to rename the about Adventures in the Lab. Hmmmm.

Still pondering quitting my job on and off. Really can't decide one way or the other. Really miss the kids but not sure I would like being home full time. Maybe I will find a part time job?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Weekly update

Ok...I admit it. My life is boring. And it only gets more boring in between surrogacies. But here's my weekly recap:

Kids are all good. Four of the five are on the straight and narrow and doing really well. The other one....well yeah. Right now he is so far from teh straight and narrow that I'm not sure he could see the straight and narrow with a high power telescope. But as they can lead a horse to water.....

Work is fine. Not great, not awful. Just keep plugging along and in 30 years I can retire.

P90X is fine. Not great, not awful. Just keep plugging along and in 76 days I will be a beauty queen, right? Not? Hmmm.....oh well.

Joe and I had our 8th anniversary the other day. Joe turns 41 next week and then Sarah turns 18 the following week. In less than 3 months three of our five kids will be adults. How weird is that?

Amanda (oldest child) is getting married in four months. How weird is that?

Still pumping and trying to stop. The boobs are not cooperating with the stopping and then for some reason when the production does go down I panic and have to fight the urge to pump more to build it back up. Pumping sucks and I want to be done but I find myself not wanting to let go of what could be my last link to my fertility. Ever. How final is that?

We had 9 people for dinner tonight...felt great to have the house full of noise and laughter again. Frequently now it is just Joe and I rambling about in our 4800 square foot monstrosity and it is so quiet. It is strange to think that in six years it will always be just us. How weird.

So yeah...just another boring week around here but boring is good. Kids continue to grow and thrive. Joe and I get older and hopefully wiser. Bring on another boring week.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Do I miss it?

Surrogacy that is. And pregnancy.

For right now, I don't miss surrogacy but I do miss pregnancy. I miss having a baby tumbling about in my belly. I can tell that I am getting close to being 6 weeks postpartum because I've forgotten about the annoying aspects of pregnancy and am starting to romanticize it. Not that I had very many annoying aspects with the last pregnancy....I think I got off remarkably easy.

I can't honestly say if I will be a surrogate again. Part of me really wants to but part of me doesn't. Until I am sure one way or another I will not make any decisions. I love helping to create families but I can't imagine having to find another couple, meet them, and then start all over with the process again. Ugh. Plus the kids are getting older and they are so active and have so many activities now. But then I also can't imagine never being pregnant again and never being a surrogate again. So for right now, I am making no decisions. If I had to make a choice today, I would say I am a retired surrogate.

Work is going well. We are staying very busy and talking about expansion. I love my job and will probably work there forever unless boy #2 goes to Catholic high school in which case I guess I will find a chemist job there. I could make alot more money in Columbia but I don't like the idea of driving every day and will only do it if I have to drive there to take the kid to school there anyway. Joe has a new job that he loves. It does not pay well at all but he is happy there and that is more important than money anyway. Between what he makes and what I make we can pay the bills and save a bit and that is all that matters.

We have bought four new pairs of glasses and a set of contacts in the last two weeks. All out of pocket because of my crappy vision insurance at work. First I got new glasses (my first pair in 3 years) and then Joe did. We took the boys for eye exams in August and neither needed new glasses (yay...or so we thought). Then boy #2's teacher said he couldn't see the board with his glasses so we took him back and his prescription had changed so he got new glasses and is trying contacts. Then last week boy #3 broke his glasses and we just ordered new ones for him. So hopefully we are done buying glasses for awhile..just in time for the semi-annual dental exams and annual physicals. Kids are expensive.

P90X is going well. It's honestly alot easier than I expected but will definitely get me into shape. My fat fat pants are too big now and so I'm wearing my fat pants. I'm probably still ten pounds away from my normal pants and twenty pounds away from my skinny pants. I figure I should be into my normal pants in another two or three months. I was hoping to be into my skinny pants by this summer when we go to the dude ranch.

Dude ranch? Yep we are taking the boys to a dude ranch for a week. The boys both love horseback riding and so do we. This particular ranch also has canoeing and swimming and rock climbing and rapelling. Can't wait. We will be spending the last of Joe's small inheritance that he got this summer on the trip. We have also started saving for next summer's trip to Europe. None of us have ever been out of the country so it should be alot of fun.

That's enough rambling for now.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Day 4 of death

* and so far, not so bad. We had to rearrange the schedule a bit since boy #2 has an out of town basketball game tomorrow. But we are doing all seven workouts this week, just shuffling a few things. Next week will be massive shuffling since he has 3 basketball games. Egads.

*Circle and Dr. D say that they will accept me to carry again if I pass the medical screening. Not even sure I want to carry again but it's nice to know that whether or not I am retired is my decision, not theirs. Yes, I'm a brat.

* Off to get the boy from practice. Life is crazy busy between basketball, karate, death (aka p90x) and work. No time in this schedule to breathe, much less get preggers. Yay for busy.