Monday, May 31, 2010

Am I really pregnant?

This has been my latest worry. Because you can never have enough worries right?

I had an ultrasound at 10w1d and there was very definitely a baby and a heartbeat in there. Found an OB and had the nurses consultation but have not actually seen the OB yet. So now I am 14w3d and I have felt a wiggle or two but not consistently. I have gained a bit of weight. The boobs are huge (DH walks around staring at my chest. I honestly think that they only reason he consents to my being a surrogate is that for a few brief months my A cups morph into C cups.) and I have food cravings. But I don't look pregnant. So am I? I was supposed to finally see the OB on Wednesday but they cancelled on me and now it is the following Tuesday. So in another week hopefully a doppler will ease my worry. Until then, I guess I will continue to obsess.

Things that make me go....WHAT?

Today I got called in to work. Most people would be annoyed by this but since it's a holiday all I could think was time and a half plus 8 hours of holiday pay. So I headed off to work. Five hours later I am driving home and I pass three cars in a row with female drivers with mini-dogs on their laps. If you are prone to driving around with a mini dog on your're gonna want to leave now. It's gonna get ugly. I just don't get how it can be legal to drive around with a living, breathing creature on your lap? How is this not dangerous? It's not like these creatures lay quietly and look out the window.....they are too freaking small to see out the window without perching their front paws on the door. So you know they are constantly readjusting their tiny back paws for balance. On the drivers lap. I say again....How is this not dangerous? And why would you want to drive with a dog in your lap. I have friends who are lap dog drivers. I do not understand it. I have been known to be wrong though (that one time) so please, if you are a lap dog driver, let me know why? And if you slam on your brakes do you do the instinctive right hand across the chest of your child in the passenger seat or do you save the tiny lap dog? Or do you do both and just stop steering the car? Enlighten me.

Sunday, May 30, 2010 who am I?

You know when you go to a job interview and they ask you to summarize yourself in ten sentences or less? I suck at that. So this will be long and boring. I will try a one sentence condensed version for those of you lucky enough to have lives.

I am a lab technician with a whole bunch of kids and the strange but satisfying hobby of growing babies for gay men.

Those of you with lives, skedaddle on back to them. Those of us with no lives can continue on here.

Okay so who am I? Good question. Do you ever look back on your life in puzzled wonder asking yourself how you got to where you are? Not in a bad way, just in a totally confused, how did this happen kind of way? That sums up the last ten years or so of my life.

Ah but I digress. Let's just stick with the facts. This is after all an introduction. There will be plenty of time later for the details.

Maybe a question and answer session would be easier.
Q. What do you do for a living?
A. Hey an easy one.....I am a lab tech at an ethanol plant. Love it.

Q. Are you married?
A. Another easy one.....yep for over 7 years to a guy whose only fault is that he's too sensitive. In the grand scheme of things, that's a win all around.

Q. How many kids do you have?
A. Hmmmm.....How would you like me to count?
2......I have two surviving biological children.
3......I have a total of three biological passed away the day
after she was born.
5......I have two biological kids and three step kids.
9......I have two biological, three step and four surrogate babies.
10.....I have two biological, three step, four surrogate and am pregnant
with surrogate baby number 5.

Q. Tell me about your kids.
A. Hmmmm.....yeah no thanks. Of the five, currently three are on the straight and narrow path. The other two are.......not. NEXT QUESTION.

Q. What are your political views.
A. Socially liberal, fiscally conservative.

Q. Organized religion?
A. I'm Catholic. (That gets interesting when you factor in the whole "surrogate for gay men" thing). Purgatory is awaiting me. Lots and lots of purgatory.

Q. Why are you a surrogate for gay men instead of traditional couples?
A. I am a coward and don't like to see the emotional pain of others. I knew that if I was a surrogate for a traditional couple that they would come with a history of heartache and pain and I didn't want to see that. I prefer the joy that comes from surrogacy for gay men.....they just need a surro because they don't have the proper equipment for baby growing. (Turns out gay men come with their own set of obstacles sometimes.....who knew?)

Q. Any more surrogacies after this one.
A. Ummmm that would be a no. Maybe. Definitely a no. Maybe.

Welcome back

Many, many years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had a blog. I closed said blog accidentally one day losing all my posts. Hmmmm. I sulked about the loss of said blog for awhile and am now back. If sarcasm bothers you, you're gonna wanna leave now. If honestly about kids bothers you, (such as sometimes kids suck) you will also wanto to leave. If you want to follow along on my frequently tiresome but rarely boring life, welcome aboard. If the past few years are any indication, it should be an interesting ride.