Sunday, March 24, 2013

The best laid plans:

How postpartum life was supposed to play out:

1.  Baby and dads would go home quickly

2.  Medical bills would be paid

3.  I would quit my job #1 and content myself with job #2 and baking for the local coffee shop

4.  The weight would fall off.

5.  I would finally get a break from basketball

6.  The ever present exhaustion from the last year would recede.

7.  I would pump for a month or so, find a good family to donate to, and retire my pump.

What has really taken place:

1.  Missouri has had about 18 kazillion blizzards and the guys were stuck here for 3 weeks.  They are finally home now thankfully and settling in nicely.  As I type this, we are having a blizzard complete with thunder snow.  Sigh. 

2.  Medical bills are not paid because they have not been received.  Seriously I'm 5 weeks postpartum and have gotten a few small bills that I have just paid myself but the major bills for the delivery, etc. have not been received.  I can't quit my job until the bills are paid.  The bills can't be paid until the bills are received.  Sigh.

3.  See number 2.  So instead of living a life of leisure, I'm still working 9 hours a day at work and then typing too.  And baking.  And pumping.  But the light at the end of the tunnel can be seen on this one.  To make decisions harder, I got a raise at work...a nice raise.  And I have taken on more responsibilities at work and have been promised another raise of at least 1.00 an hour in June or July.  I would say they are trying to entice me to stay but they don't know I am leaving so it must just be that I am awesome.  :) 

4.  The weight, for the love of all that's holy, the weight.  Ok so I started the pregnancy at 137.  Gained up to 168.  I am currently 146.  So only 9 pounds to go but I have only lost 2 pounds in the last 3 weeks.  The rest fell of immediately postpartum and now I am stuck.  The dreaded exercise must be started.  Sigh. 

5.  The boys made it to the state quarter finals in basketball.  We went to that game and man, what an atmosphere.  The gym was full of fans that made the 3 hour drive and it was so loud and to know that these people were cheering for our kids was just surreal.  The look of joy on the boys face was  so great to witness.  The game was close the whole way and we ended up losing but that team went on to become the state champs so not to shabby on our part.  I got one whole day break and then the boy joined a traveling team.  I said ok, with the caveat that all games must be localish and since the schedule showed them all very close, it's all good, right?  Yeah, sure.  The boy had a tournament in Lenexa, Kansas yesterday.  I did not go, needless to say and of course the boy played 3 excellent games, scoring 20 plus points in each and making the all tournament team.  They won two of their three games (only losing to the 29th ranked team in the country)...not too shabby for a team that has never played together before.  So we have been in continuous basketball mode for 9 months now.  I think it's time to admit that basketball will be continuous for the next four (and hopefully the next eight) years. 

6 & 7.  Exhaustion, gone?  Nope.  I have PPE...postpartum exhaustion.  I think it is the pumping.  So stop pumping right?  It seems like such an easy solution.  And yet I am already retired from surrogacy, retired from pregnancy.  Pumping is my last link to my fertile years and I'm not quite ready to give it up.  So stop whining about it, right?  Check.  Whining will cease. 

So there you have it.  Life is a bit calmer than before but still not my idea of my perfect life.  However, I am working my way toward it.  I think the medical bills should be sent within the next few weeks and it' my belief/hope that by the end of April/early May I can give my notice at work and just stay home.  I feel confident that the typing will stay steady after that but if it doesn't I will find a part time job of some sort.  Once I don't work so much, I can work out more and the weight will resume it's downward trend (eat less chocolate you say?  Blasphemy).  Basketball...well at least I like to watch basketball.  And the pumping...I'm giving myself permission to be a bit flaky when it comes to that.  So if you see me in 10 years and I'm still pumping, ignore it and pretend it's perfectly normal.  We all get to be a bit flaky on some things, right?  Plus the milk is currently feeding a baby that can't take formula.  His mother just drove up to get the first shipment and when I gave her the 700 ounces, she asked what i wanted for it and when I said I just wanted a chance to snuggle that baby of hers for a moment, she passed him over with tears in her eyes, gave me a hug, and said thank you.  It reminded me of a month ago, in the hotel in Columbia, when the Canadians grandmother gave me a heartfelt hug and whispered thank you in my ear.  Sometimes the only payment you need is the way something makes you feel and a heartfelt thank you. 

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

No words

Monday, March 4, 2013

Adventures in...teen driving

So we have five kids.  Three live independently and have their own lives.  Two are still at home.  The two still at home are the same age.  Sort of like twins...but not really.  We actually have two sets of kids the same age...I guess the hubster and I were in tune long before we were married...but I digress.

Anywho, said boys will be 15 this year.  Enter the great debate of the driving we buy them a car or not.  Now understand first of all that insurance alone for a teen boy runs around 150-200 a month.  Each.  So yeah.  Then you have the whole car you just buy one and make them share?  If so that is not fair to boy #3 because boy #2 is so active he would literally always have the car.  So ok, buy two cars.  Hold on what?  Buy two cars?  Are you crazy?  We already have three cars and no driveway. 

But really, the only option is to buy two more cars.  Ok, fine.  Start car looking so we can find something reasonable and yet safe...times two.  In my mind I'm thinking we should be able to find two cars that are similar but not the same and yet both equally cool (the cardinal sin when you have two kids the same age is for one to have something cooler than the other) for around 3500 dollars.  Did I mention times two? 

But...did I mention that boy #2 has well off friends?  So all his friends, who I might mention are 17 or 18 but that's a whole other post, drive 20,000 dollar cars. And so he keeps showing me pictures of 20,000 dollar cars.  Times two?  I think not.  Boy #3, on the other hand, gives no indication of what he would like to drive and even tells us that he will drive whatever we get him (I always knew he was my favorite). 

So we are car hunting...times two.  And adding 200 dollars a month car insurance (times two) into the budget starting next year.  Good times.  I can't wait to be pulling my hair out, worrying about them driving safely, worrying about them not using their phones and driving, worrying when they are late, etc. 

Time stops for no one though.  Boy #2 is actually 15 already (as of two weeks ago) and will go get his permit when basketball season finally ends.  Boy #3 turns 15 in a few months but already has the drivers manual and is actually studying for his permit test (as opposed to Boy #2 who is just going to "wing it" in his words).  Hmmm. 

Sunday, March 3, 2013


Guys are still here, still trapped by the weather.  I am still pumping, playing my usual role of postpartum cow.  I love my pump is my friend.  I will be pumping for awhile after the Candian goes home, donating to a family that has a ten month old that cannot tolerate formula and is tube fed.  This will be the third time that I have donated milk postpartum after my surrogate baby has gone home.  So that's the only updates I have.  I guess the surrogacy updates are done for good, other than pictures of the kids as they continue to grow. 

So what will I bore you with?  Well currently it's basketball.  The JV season has ended and we have moved on to just varsity games.  They won the District championship last night.  Photo attached.  I can't tell you how many years we have been to games and the boy has been dying to be out there on the court, cutting down the net after a big win.  Last night he got his chance.  He has certainly worked hard enough for it.  When many kids are sitting around playing video games or watching TV, he's shooting baskets.  His summer is planned for him already and involves 3 day a week workouts in the weight room and three day a week basketball drills in the gym.  Last night his smile was's nice when hard work pays off for kids.