Friday, June 28, 2013

Basketball is not a contact issues...other stuff

So the basketball team lost the starters (they graduated).  And they lost the two tall kids (also graduated).  Which leaves the tallest players at around 6'1" ish.  One of those is the boy.  So now we are back in that glorious world of him playing post.  But wait...he doesn't get to play post on offense where he might like, you know, score or something crazy.  Oh no...he plays wing on offense.  On defense he plays post.  On a positive note he has learned to play defensive post without fouling. On a negative note, he only weighs 160 at 6'1" and therefore gets pushed around A LOT in the post.  Had a tournament last weekend.  8 games in 2 days.  Long story short, the boy now has two broken ribs.  Great.  He is in a lot of pain and we can't do much about it other than bind them. 

On a positive note, we had already met our family deductible so the ER visit for him should not be quite as expensive as the one for boy #3.  We will still have to pay our share but I told everyone to feel free to get injured from now until December 31st as we have met our deductible ;0) 

Coming on the heels of all these medical expenses, the hubster and I had a family summit and he asked me to not leave my job until the boys are out of high school.  The insurance at his job is AWFUL and while mine is expensive and doesn't cover a lot it is better than nothing.  Add to that the glorious obamacare mandate that we all have insurance and that that insurance meet their definition of "adequate" which for people our ages means no HDHPs and yeah...looks like I will be staying right where I am for another three years or so.  I'm actually ok with that.  Now that I'm not exhausted all the time from pregnancy, I can work a nine hour day at the lab and come home and type for two or three hours without it bothering me.  I do very much plan to start taking days off from the lab occasionally now that I don't have to save all my time for possible pregnancy complications. 

On the other stuff front I'm getting a first one in several years.  I'm not great at this whole self-care thing but I'm going to try harder.  I'm also buying myself a motorcycle...not because I need one but just because I want one.  Boy #2 is taking the Harley Riders Edge class and even though I have already taken that, I will take it again with him just because I'm not comfortable with dropping a 15 year old off and telling strangers to teach him to ride a motorcycle. 

Still pumping but I can tell I'm almost done with that.  I have a couple of friends that have pumped long term and while I admire that, I personally have never pumped longer than 6 months and I'm not sure I could.  Dragging the pump everywhere is a serious PITA and I'm so tired of it already.  Plus I fantasize about sleeping past 5:30 am, that glorious hour when my boobs wake me every morning. 

And that's is.  Boring aren't I?  I have lots of stories regarding Boy #1 but that is a post in and of itself.  Girl #1 got a promotion at work and is happy.  Girl #2 is still working nights and exhausted.  Grandbaby #1 is now 5 and grandbaby #2 is almost two.  Wow.  So I'm old and boring.

Off to find a place to cut my hair.  I am thinking of coloring it too.  Hmmm.  Shall I? 

Sunday, June 16, 2013

I said no

A few days ago the Canadians asked if I would be interested in carrying a sibling for Ben.  My first instinctive, knee jerk reaction was to say "sure, when?" but instead I made myself wait a few days before responding.  I love being pregnant.  I love being a surrogate.  So while my heart is all "oh sure when do we transfer, woohoo pregnancy, woohoo more babies for these guys I adore" my mind is more like "hold the phone, haven't you been pregnant eleventy times now and haven't you had four C-sections and aren't you 85?" 

I want to but then I don't.  I am tired of making ground at work, having things going great, and then doing a surrogacy and losing all of that.  It gets old.  I don't regret any of my surrogacies and I love the men that are now fathers and the kids that are here in part because of me.  And then I think of another C-section and another recovery. 

After a day of mind wrestling (oh the recovery...but you recover easily) (oh the guys at work treating me bad...who cares what they think) (oh the stress on my body...who needs abs or teeth anyway) I told the guys no.  Well actually I told them to check back with me in a year when they actually want to cycle but in the meantime to definitely keep their feelers out for a surrogate because my answer will likely be no and I don't want them to miss out on a perfect surrogate.  It feels weird and yet it feels right. 

Saying no allowed me to actually consider, once and for all, leaving my lab job.  I have mostly been holding on to it for the insurance, which sucks for most things (did I mention that the hand shut in the door fiasco by boy #3 is now up to 3800 dollars?  I hate our local hospital and their stupid overcharging for doing so little) but is wonderful for childbirth expenses.  So while I had pushed the idea of leaving to the back of my mind, it is now in the forefront again.  They have started to be a bit grouchy about my pumping at work which I think is crazy.  I only pump on my breaks, twice a day for ten minutes.  The problem is that the only time I have ever taken breaks is when I am pumping and they don't like it.  The more they hint, the more I am tempted to pump for 15 years.  They have no issues with someone taking 10 cigarette breaks a day but grumble when I pump twice a day for ten minutes?  Yeah...that's ridiculous.  I spoke with the mom of the baby I pump for and have verbally committed to pump for another two months and then we will reassess.  The pumping has the added benefit of curbing the surrogacy cravings.  I pump about 40ish ounces a day.  I give 30 of that to my local donor baby and then donate the rest to a milk bank.  I have a friend who pumps 80 ounces a day (egads) but she pumps at night and I am just not going to do that.  Sleep is my friend. 

Kids are good.  I have given up on the concept that there will ever be an end to basketball.  There appears to be no season once they hit high school...just perpetual basketball.  The team this year will be pretty awful.  The lost four of their five starters and all of the seniors.  No one is taller than 6'1".  Can we say rebuilding year?  They are actually at a shootout this weekend.  Eight games in two days.  I am a bad mom and did not go.  Watching my kid get pushed around in the post is not my idea of a good weekend.  He has gained 19 pounds since school got out but he desperately needs another four or five inches.  I am thinking of buying one of those torture devices to stretch him with. 

Our annual vacation to Cobblestone Lodge is approaching and then boy #2 is going to Chicago to stay with family for a week.  Boy #2 and I are going to Canada in September or October to see the Canadians too.  The hubster and boy #3 can't go because getting a passport for boy #3 would be difficult.  Also in September or October the Swedes are coming for a two week visit.  I am so excited to see all of them and meet their new baby.  They say Aurora asks about me a lot and can't wait to meet me which is cool.  I have a very unique role in their life.  L&L call me mama Susan to the kids and the egg donor is mama Savannah.  It is really nice. 

So that's our life.  We got the loan for the roof and the if it would just stop raining so we could actually fix them.  Not much else.  :) 

I leave you with this...Ben at four months.  His dad is a ER doc, his other dad is an engineer, his grandma is a nurse and his uncle is a pediatrician.  He has no worries so he is chillin. 

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Done and content to be that way

So here I am 3.5 months postpartum.  Usually by now the hormones are raging and my uterus is begging me to please, for the love of God, find some suitable gay men to get pregnant for already.  I don't know what is different this time.  Is the perfect journey I had last time?  Is it just a general sense of contentment?  Is it the fact that I'm 865 years old and have had eleventy seven babies?  I don't honestly know.  I just know that not only do I feel done, I feel ok and even great about being done.  Thank heavens.  I honestly was starting to worry that I would have to commit myself or cut out a body part to ever be ok with being done with surrogacy.

Life is good here.  I still continue to get updates from the guys about my last four surrogate babies.  I don't hear much about the first set of twins but it was never as personal of a relationship and I'm ok with that.  We exchange e-mails once a year, I send birthday presents on their birthday, and sometimes he sends pictures.  It's enough. 

Our latest adventure around here occurred when boy #3 shut his fingers in a friends' car door.  He was not home at the time but came right back and we hustled him off to the ER.  We were thinking his hand was broken but thankfully it was just (just?) a hairline fracture of his pinkie finger.  He had to splint it for a week and then buddy tape it for another and then hopefully all will be well.  Follow up xrays will be done in a week or so if the doctor thinks they are necessary.  This grand adventure has cost us 1800 dollars so far (gotta love those deductibles and out of pocket maximums on the insurance don't you?) and we are still waiting on the radiologists bills.  The most important thing is that he is ok and will have no long term effects. 

On the topic of hemorrhaging money, boy #2 crashed his bike into a car.  709 dollars later the car is whole again.  Needless to say, boy #2 owes me a TON of slave labor this summer.  Not a week later his phone died.  More cash hemorrhaging.  More slave labor to be done.  Gotta love kids.  Boy #3's phone is also about to die but he is almost due for an upgrade so hopefully it will hang on until then. 

We are FINALLY getting a new roof in a few weeks.  Boy #2 and I have repaired it numerous times and it just won't stop leaking now.  We took out a loan to get a new roof because we don't feel like we can wait any longer or the whole thing might cave in on us. 

So yeah...that's our life.  It's not perfect but it's pretty darn close.  We are all happy and mostly healthy and it just doesn't get much better than that.  :)