Friday, October 29, 2010

Energy? Where did that come from?

So all of the sudden I have energy again. Not sure why. It's not like nesting's just all of the sudden I don't feel like I've been wrung out by the end of the day. It is an awesome feeling. Maybe it's just because my cold is finally on the downhill.

OB appt yesterday. Weight gain is 21 pounds so far. Baby is good. I am good. Blood pressure was 102/61. Healthy as a horse. She is out of the office next week so my option was to see her partner (no thanks) or wait until the following week. So I see her again at 38 weeks. Yesterday was my first day of tons of Braxton Hicks contractions and as I lay here and type this, more are hitting. They are not regular and they are not the real thing but they are starting to be uncomfortable enough to make me sit up and take notice. And all of the sudden I realize that I'm expected to deliver this baby in the next few weeks. Wow.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Who needs a white flag? I'll just use my granny panties.

Okay so who came up with this whole "work until I deliver" idea? Who? Surely it wasn't me. Because it is a stupid, ridiculous idea. I am tired. My back aches. Cletus must weigh six pounds or so now and he and his various accessories are weighing me down. And I stand all day. Grrr. Not to mention I have a cold. How unfair is that? Not to mention that DH has suddenly decided to get motivated and work full time so I now have to do actual housework after I get home from work. Not to mention that we have suddenly gotten some hair up our asses about not eating out and so I actually have to cook a meal every night (when we made this no eating out vow, I was under the impression that everyone considered cold cereal a meal....I was sadly mistaken). Not to mention it is basketball season and boy #2 plays. Not to mention that boy #2 keeps winning the darn speech meets so we spend many a Saturday listening to awkward pre-teens and teens give horrible speeches.

So today, I started looking for my white flag. Something has to give here and the only thing that can give is my job. But I was too lazy to actually go in search of a white flag and so the thought came to me of using my white granny panties (are you one of those cute petite women that can wear sexy thongs to the end of your pregnancies? If so I hate you. And lots of other women hate you. Real women get pregnant everywhere. Our boobs are huge, our asses spread and our faces look like that of a chipmunk storing nuts for winter....ah but I digress). But it turns out I am too tired/lazy to remove my granny panties until shower time. So I guess I will keep working. Worst case scenario would be carrying Cletus until I'm 42 weeks pregnant since I can't be induced. So that is ONLY 45 more days. ONLY. Someone, kill me now please.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Old, tired, and used up

Ok.....I admit it. I am old. Because this pregnancy has been easy and wonderful but at the end of a long week of work, I am just tired.

Today I am 35 weeks. In two weeks I am offically term. I cannot wait to have a "boo yah I made it to term with my old and decrepit uterus/cervix combo while standing all day every day" celebration. So in 14 days the ESS can safely come out of hiding. In 22 days the dad will be here. I looked at opportune days for delivery...days when our life is not insane. There are two such days between now and mid-January. Hmmmm. Perhaps having a baby during basketball season and the holidays was not the most brilliant idea I've ever come up with. Perhaps.

Kids here are all alive and doing well. Joe has started a new job and it is....wait for it.....full time. The catch is that it is full time when there is work and when there is not work, it is zero hours a week. So we can't really budget for it yet but maybe by next summer we will have a better idea of how often he will work. If he can get up to around full time, I might be able to leave my job and work part time. How awesome would that be? Pretty awesome I'm thinking. Joe does not get a check for a whole 5 weeks so right now we are back to living like broke people which is not so bad. We have spent way too much money lately on stupid stuff such as eating out and the video store and it's time for that lifestyle to come to an end.

Cletus has had a definite growth spurt in the last week and this belly feels heavy some days now. I also have a cold which is always nice when this pregnant. Hoping a weekend of relaxing and being a slug will fix the cold at cure for the pregnant part but I'm so not ready to deliver yet. Maybe in another few weeks I will be ready but I'm still enjoying this pregnancy way too much to even consider delivery yet.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Made it through

another week at work that is.

I saw the new OB for the first time and I actually like her. She is going to let me labor and try for a VBA2C. I am so thrilled. I know alot can happen to make me end up with another section but at least I have a chance of a vaginal delivery with her which is more than most OBs were giving me.

Cletus is doing well. I think I dropped in the last week because the belly is definitely lower. However my cervix is still closed so I think I have another few weeks in me. I'm definitely starting to feel the hours on my feet every day and while I can work this many hours and be this pregnant, I can't do much else when I get home after. Basketball starts for James very soon and this baby is due right in the middle of the season which should be "interesting" if nothing else.

So right now we are in a holding pattern. Lennart will be here in 28 days and as soon as he is settled into his motel in Columbia, Joe and I can start activities to encourage this baby to come. Poor Joe has been cut off from said activities for over a month now because I didn't want to take the chance of triggering labor so I know he is anxiously counting down the days.

I am nervous and excited for the end of this, my final (theoretically) journey. It has been 12 years since I had a vaginal birth and that scares me a bit I will admit. But I know vaginal is best for me and the baby so we are going for it.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

33w1d...Is it just me....

Or is it not really getting any bigger? I know the baby is actually measuring large for dates so he/she must be in there somewhere....just not sure where.


So I got a check in the mail for the refund of midwife fees and it was way more than I thought. I feel so much better about the DH quitting his job now. Yay.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Where to start?

Well I guess I will start with the pregnancy.

On Wednesday I had some bright red bleeding. Since I had not seen the OB yet and had already stopped care with the midwife, and since I was only 32w5d, I headed to OB triage where they saw bleeding coming from the cervix. Fortunately my cervix was still high, tight, and closed. They could never see the source of the bleeding so they monitored me and sent me home. What freaks me out is that here we are, three days later, and old brown blood is still coming out, sometimes in clots. I am really worried that this is placental bleeding and I am so scared for the baby. Thankfuly the baby is very active so I know he/she is okay so far. When I feel like this, though, I am definitely tempted to throw out all of my "natural birth" wishes and just let them get this baby out. I am so tired of worrying about this kid. If I wasn't sure about being done with surrogacy before this week, I am definitely sure now. I am tired of stressing 24/7 about someone else's kid. It feels like way too much responsibility. I am actually looking forward to seeing the OB so she can reassure me that everything is okay. At this point I am scared to death that I will lay here and the placenta will abrupt and the baby will not make it. I did have an ultrasound in the hospital on Wednesday and the placenta looked fine so I am sure I'm being paranoid.

What else is going on?
Well Joe quit his job. It was the right choice but it feels like alot of pressure on me right now. How about I make all the money while being pregnant with someone else's baby? Sure...yeah....I can do that. Glerk.

Monday, October 4, 2010


I just told my mom (via email) that I am pregnant with a surrogate baby. She is not a fan of surrogacy (to put it mildly). I do not expect her to take it well. The last surrogacy she told me that I put the surrobabies above my own kids and that I do not meet my own obligations when pregnant with a surrogacy. Hmmmm. I only told her this time because she wanted to "drop by" with my grandpa which would have been horribly awkward. Hmmm. This will not go well.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

40 days from now

I am due in 53 days. In 40 days, the dad will be here to get the baby. I am starting to get really curious as to when this baby will arrive. So far I've had only two real contractions and a handful of Braxton Hicks. I haven't really slowed down anything in my life yet because there doesn't seem to be a reason to. Now if I start getting contractions I will certainly slow down but right now, I'm just going on as usual.

Work is going well. Joe should be getting a settlement from his parents estate in another few weeks. Though it won't be alot, it might be enough to pay off the car that we bought in March. If it does, then we will be debt free except the mortgage and two student loans. That will be an amazing position to be in. Now if we can just keep from ever using the credit cards again.

Kids are doing well. So far everyone is still on the straight and narrow though who knows how long that will last.

Not much else going on. I've stopped whining about seeing an OB and made an appointment in two weeks. I will be 34 weeks at that point and there's really not much intervention left that they can do. I will continue to refuse "routine" ultrasounds, etc., though I will have an ultrasound if we think the baby might be breech, etc. We have developed a few scenarios for labor and I have begun to train DH to be my labor backup (this consists of him practicing screaming, "Listen mean old nurse....she said she doesn't want the flipping epidural") and the training is going well so far. He gave me a scare the other day when he asked me "what the harm would be" in consenting to a few routine tests. After I got done chewing him to pieces, I explained the cascade of interventions concept and while I'm not sure he really "got it", he was sufficiently scared of me to say a meek, "yes dear" which I graciously accepted.

So life goes on right now. Joe is still thinking the baby will come in early November (grrr) and I'm still thinking early December. We shall see. I'm settled in and prepared to enjoy the last few weeks of this, my last (theoretically) pregnancy.