Thursday, June 30, 2011

First monitoring appointment

Next week I go and have my lady bits inspected by the evil Dr. G. to make sure that the lupron has succeeded in putting me into menopause and quieting my ovaries. If it has, then I will lower my lupron and start enormous amounts of estrogen. I hate my monitoring doctor. This is the glorious jerk that told me after my last transfer that my uterus was thin and would rupture and I would die. Completely freaked me out until I realized he really just doesn't like surrogates. (How can you be a RE and not like surrogates...seriously?) Anywho, I can't wait to see him and tell him that my poor thin uterus carried an almost 8 pound baby to 41 weeks and endured hours of senseless labor before being cut again. He thinks I'm only in surrogacy for the money, in spite of the fact that he knows that I'm a chemist and make more in six months at my job than I do in a year of surrogacy. Oh well. To each his own. I am prepared for his doom and gloom this time. If he gets snotty and says I'll die at any moment, I will tell him that that's fine, my funeral is fully planned and I have scads of life insurance for my family and my IFs.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Every muscle aches

So I've continued to work out...I just haven't been doing p90x. So why is it that after one lousy p90x workout and a long bike ride, every muscle in my body aches. Including my abs. Does this mean I just have to continue to cycle through p90x for the rest of my life to stay in shape? Because obviously doing my walking and biking and pushups did not keep me in shape in between rounds of p90x. How depressing. I like variety in workouts and to think that ten years from now the only way I'll be in shape is to be on round 31 of p90x makes me want to cry.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

On the menu today

Well first up we will be fixing the holes in the back house walls that my wonderful son made during his drunken/drugged stay there. I patched the four small ones with mesh last night. Today we will patch the three body sized ones.

Then...wait for it....we are finally starting round 2 of p90x. We have taken a 3 month break and done alot of outside exercise. Now we are ready to jump back in. We will have to take a week off for vacation in July as there are no televisions where we are heading. And we will take a few days off when we go for transfer and for a few days after transfer we will have to just do arms and jumping or anything strenuous. So here we go. My goal this time is to tone up those lower abs as much as possible. I know they will never be tight again but hopefully they can be a smidge tighter than they are now. I am finally at my pre-pregnancy weight (just in time to start the glorious weight addition drug lupron) but I need to tone more.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Sick as a dog

Well I guess the stress finally got to me. I got a belly bug and a horrendous cold all together. I continued to work all week and bulled my way through but now that it is Friday afternoon, I am so happy to be at home, laying down and vegging. Updates:

1. The boy is still in jail. I will not bail him out. I am so happy that we had already kicked him out several months before he was arrested. He calls daily and we write him and he writes us. How sad is it that I only have contact with him when he's in trouble.

2. My last day at work is August 20th. Notice is turned in. I don't know what the future may hold for me....I just know that there has to be more to life than working 50 hours a week and never seeing my family. DH has agreed that if we both work 30 to 40 hours a week it will be the same as me currently working 50 and him working 10. We will lose a chunk of income but amazingly, the tax benefits will almost completely make up for the lost income.

3. I start lurpon injections tomorrow. Transfer is approaching. These bcps suck because my period has been spotting right through the darn things. My body really doesn't like extended periods of bcps and really wants a full period. I think I stop bcps in early July so only a few more weeks of telling my body that it can't bleed yet.

4. Boy #2 has yet another basketball tournament this weekend...his next to last one.

5. Vacation is approaching super quick.

6. The weather here is gorgeous. 70's and sunny. Doesn't get any better than that. :)

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Wow what a week

This past week has been insane...and not all in a good way. Allow me to re-cap.

Last weekend, DH and I had no kids so we went to the zoo. We walked around for hours and it gave us a glimpse of what life will be like after the kids are grown. I think we both liked that glimpse. DH has been a parent for 20 years and I have for 18. By the time we are "done" (yeah I are never really done) but but the time they are all 18, DH will have parented for 25 years and I for 23. And we have five kids. Egads.

Speaking of never being done, fast forward to Wednesday. DH went with girl #2 who is 20 weeks preggo to find out the sex of our first grandchild. (This is the same daughter that lost twins at 19 weeks last year...and yes I get that those are my grandkids too, it's just easier to say that this is our first rather than saying this is our first living. Not trying to forget those two or be insensitive). Anywho, she found out that she's having a girl (Oh the pink that I'm gonna buy). That evening she and her boyfriend got into a huge fight, precipitated I think by his extremely cold feet...which were precipitated by his actually seeing the baby on the ultrasounds. Anywho he kicked her out and she moved in with us. Sure, yeah, why not, right? The more the merrier. We began fixing up the back house for her to move into (she moved in there last night....thank you Heavenly Father for giving me my own house back). Did I mention that she babysits? So for a few days we had her and a crabby nine month old. But hey, she's our kid and she's trying to do right. She starts college in the fall and we were going to babysit anyway...this just means the baby will be right out my back door.

That same night, boy #1, who we kicked out for good a few months ago and had not heard from in many months, was finally arrested for a charge that might earn him some jail time. I know it sounds bad to be wishing for jail but I just don't know what else will get through to him. We have tried absolutely everything else and now that he's an adult, we don't see him or have anything to do with him because of the horrible choices he is making. I hate to think of him in jail but the way he is going he will be dead in less than a year. I have not heard from him since he was arrested. I do know he has a fairly high bond and I don't think he'll be able to post it but you never know. The people he was "working" for have deep pockets and if they want him out, he'll get out.

Like I said...not a great week but yet it was. girl #2 is alive and well and so is grandbaby #1 (or 3). Boy #1 is safe and sober for the first time in a LONG time.

Not much else to tell. We are dog sitting this weekend. This is a basketball weekend. We go on vacation in a few weeks. In less than 2 months I am transferring. I won't put an exact date yet because I don't like to advertise when we will be out of town. Daycare is arranged for the kids and DH and I are relishing a few days out of town together. That's about it. DH is still laid off from work but will hopefully be starting back about when the kids go to school.

Thursday, June 16, 2011



1. I don't have hypothyroidism. Yay.
2. We have a calendar. Transfer is approaching.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Calendar this week?

I was originally supposed to get a calendar this week. I'm not sure if that is still the case since my tsh was high....they said that that won't cause an issue but I think it might delay things a bit. We'll see. Excited to get a calendar and interested to see if my bloodwork comes back normal or high again.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Working it out

Consents are fixed. Additional bloodwork is drawn. Freaking out has diminished. More to follow.

Friday, June 10, 2011

The heebie-jeebies

This surrogacy is really starting to freak me out.

1. The agency wants me to get Lloyds insurance even though my insurance has covered 3 surrogacies without blinking. I don't want to fill out the form because of page 9... which states I will let Lloyds choose which providers I use. So I've been sitting on this form for two weeks. I'm not going to fill it out. If that ends the match, so be it.

2. The egg donor can only retrieve a certain week. It is much sooner than I expected.

3. I got consents in the mail today. One of them I'm just supposed to sign but it's not filled out and it's the consent to deviate from the fda established screening criteria for the donor. what way do they need to deviate and why? I'm so not into getting a disease here.

4. My TSH is elevated for the first time ever. I believe this is caused by many pregnancies. It is not super elevated and is not a big deal...I take some meds, get preggo, and go on. But still, it's just another flag waving at me.

5. The guys are distant. Yes, I know they are busy. And in person they were great. But I still hear from my Swedish guys weekly if not more frequently about the twins and Aurora. Do I really want to go back to what I had with my first match?

So yeah...I have the heebie-jeebies. I feel like something is really trying to tell me to just walk away.

Plan of action is:
1. Repeate bloodwork to see if TSH is actually high.
2. DO NOT sign up with Lloyds
3. Email to figure out what is up with donor
4. Try to get excited about all this. It just feels rushed and wrong though

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

We have dates

Tentative dates anyway. Wow. Guess I passed my screening.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Screening trip

Let me start at the beginning. I left on Thursday from work and drove to the airport. I flew to Detroit, had a layover, and then flew into White Plains. I have to say that I love the White Plains airport. I got my rental car and drove some of the curviest roads imaginable to get to the Merritt and then was set. Or so I thought. I got onto 25 and was supposed to get off at exit 3s. No biggie. Except road construction had 3s closed. No biggie, I just got off at exit 2 and turned around, thinking I would get off on exit 3 from the northbound lanes. But there was no exit 3s or 3 or anything. So I drove for a bit trying to figure out what to do. I got off at exit 9, planning to turn around and go back southbound but ther was no entrance for southbound. So I went a bit west and thought I would turn around and go back east and then north. Confused yet? So was I. Finally after driving aimlessly for a few minutes I called my hubby and asked if my phone had GPS. Nope. Finally I stumbled back upon highway 25, got off at exit 2, found a walgreens in a complete ghetto, got lost in downtown Bridgeport, and then managed to stumble upon my motel 3 hours later. Shot nerves...yeah you might say that.

The next morning I was using the computer in the lobby and saw two men staring at me. I thought they looked really familiar and might be my IFs but I was not sure and didn't want to approach them. What could I say, "Hi. Are you guys gay? And canadian? And headed for invasive medical testing?" Yeah I don't think so. (It was them by the way).

I went and had my screening and passed (pending bloodwork). My uterus looks great according to Dr. D. The guys and I then went out to eat and we talked for a bit. I really like the alot. They want a sibling in a few years but I seriously doubt I will be the carrier for that. In spite of the fact that the old gray mare is aging well, she is still old and gray and there are limits. Plus Dr. D made it blatantly clear that while everything looks great, he would not approve me for another journey after this...I am 39 and simply too old. Great Dr. D....thanks for that. The time machine has finally caught up with the old gray mare it seems and it is almost time to put her out to pasture. Oh well. I have many other adventures ahead.

My flight home on Friday was at 6:30. I was heading to the airport at 4 when AA called and cancelled my flight. I pulled off the Merritt and luckily was right across the street from the motel that my Swedish guys and I had stayed at last time. I got a room for the night and flew out Saturday morning. After a rain delay in Chicago, I am finally home. Hopefully bloodwork turns out OK and we can get this show on the road. I am still thinking a September transfer.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Off to see the wizard

Tomorrow I have to work 4 hours and then I'm off to the airport. Layover in Detroit, arriving in NY early evening. Meeting the IFs the next day, saying hi to my friends at CFA, sharing pics of the ESBs and the ESS, getting the lady bits inspected, lunch with the IFs, then back to the airport. Arrive back home at 2am on Saturday. Basketball tournament Saturday and Sunday, followed by another week of work. Such is life. Hope the old gray mare passes. :)