Friday, June 10, 2011

The heebie-jeebies

This surrogacy is really starting to freak me out.

1. The agency wants me to get Lloyds insurance even though my insurance has covered 3 surrogacies without blinking. I don't want to fill out the form because of page 9... which states I will let Lloyds choose which providers I use. So I've been sitting on this form for two weeks. I'm not going to fill it out. If that ends the match, so be it.

2. The egg donor can only retrieve a certain week. It is much sooner than I expected.

3. I got consents in the mail today. One of them I'm just supposed to sign but it's not filled out and it's the consent to deviate from the fda established screening criteria for the donor. Um.....in what way do they need to deviate and why? I'm so not into getting a disease here.

4. My TSH is elevated for the first time ever. I believe this is caused by many pregnancies. It is not super elevated and is not a big deal...I take some meds, get preggo, and go on. But still, it's just another flag waving at me.

5. The guys are distant. Yes, I know they are busy. And in person they were great. But I still hear from my Swedish guys weekly if not more frequently about the twins and Aurora. Do I really want to go back to what I had with my first match?

So yeah...I have the heebie-jeebies. I feel like something is really trying to tell me to just walk away.

Plan of action is:
1. Repeate bloodwork to see if TSH is actually high.
2. DO NOT sign up with Lloyds
3. Email to figure out what is up with donor
4. Try to get excited about all this. It just feels rushed and wrong though

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