Saturday, November 30, 2013

Fluid under kneecap

The boy has massive knee pain.  We took him to the doc in a box on the day before Thanksgiving because every place else was closed.  They did an xray and found fluid behind his kneecap.  Most likely cause?...torn meniscus, torn cartilage, or torn ACL.  I hate sports.  I hate my kid being hurt.  I hate watching him try to fight through the pain.  We have to see an orthopedist next week.  Praying it is something simple that won't need a surgical fix because he's my baby and never had surgery.  He is crushed because his season is likely over before it even began.  Hate seeing him sad.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

What would (fill in the blank) do?

Surrogates need someone to worship so that when we have a surrogate(ish) quandary we can be all like :  What would (xxx) do?  So for the purpose of this blog entry, I will call my surrogate idol Libbigail.  She is the one with all the answers when it comes to surrogacy. 

So let's start over:  What would Libbigail do...

I guess I need a bit of an introduction before I jump right into this.  I'm hopped up on chocolate right now (a whole flipping batch of fudge if you must know).  I blame that on Joe and the kids.  They have all left and I didn't want the fudge to feel left out or abandoned or just unwanted so I was forced to eat it.  All. 

Alone you say?  Hold the phone.  I'm home ALONE.  Hallelujah.  Joe and boy #3 went to the mall.  Boy #2 is enjoying his last few hours of freedom before basketball practice starts next week.  I should be typing but my boss hates me and sent me an affidavit of someone who mumbles.  And has a speech impediment.  So every time I start typing it I have to stop because I'm laughing hysterically which is inappropriate on so many levels because I don't really hate mumblers or those with speech impediments...once again I blame the chocolate which if you go back to paragraph two, is really the fault of Joe and the kids. 

So while avoiding the mumbling speech impediment prone complainant, I checked my e-mail and there was gorgeous pictures of my most recent surrogate spawn and more talk of a sibling project.  Which brings us to: 

What would Libbigail do?

1.  Encourage the guys to find a younger, less sliced surrogate (this is obviously the right choice.  I know this is the right choice.  We are going with this choice).

2.  Go get screened because maybe I am the right choice.  (I am not the right choice.  I know I heal well but come on already.  This whole serial pregnancy thing has to stop somewhere.  It's starting to get embarrassing). 

3.  Keep pumping so that 2 is not a choice and 1 becomes the only choice.  This is also a good choice bur really, shouldn't I be adult enough to just say no to my whole "I wanna gestate forever" thing.  Plus have you ever pumped long term?  I've pumped for 8 months now.  Almost 9 months.  Every day.  7 to 8 times a day.  My nipples could have their own zip code.  I have personally donated to five babies and also to a milk bank.  Pumping is good.  But really this must end sometime.

I know what I should do.  I know what is right to do.  But I also am fairly confident that I could carry again because I heal well and my uterus "looks great" according to my OB.  I want what is best for the guys and surely a younger surrogate is better for them.  I know I'm healthy and work out and have great surrogate-friendly insurance but still.  

Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and my uterus will have fallen out.  That would fix the whole issue right there...