The best laid plans:

How postpartum life was supposed to play out:

1.  Baby and dads would go home quickly

2.  Medical bills would be paid

3.  I would quit my job #1 and content myself with job #2 and baking for the local coffee shop

4.  The weight would fall off.

5.  I would finally get a break from basketball

6.  The ever present exhaustion from the last year would recede.

7.  I would pump for a month or so, find a good family to donate to, and retire my pump.


What has really taken place:

1.  Missouri has had about 18 kazillion blizzards and the guys were stuck here for 3 weeks.  They are finally home now thankfully and settling in nicely.  As I type this, we are having a blizzard complete with thunder snow.  Sigh. 

2.  Medical bills are not paid because they have not been received.  Seriously I'm 5 weeks postpartum and have gotten a few small bills that I have just paid myself but the major bills for the delivery, etc. have not been received.  I can't quit my job until the bills are paid.  The bills can't be paid until the bills are received.  Sigh.

3.  See number 2.  So instead of living a life of leisure, I'm still working 9 hours a day at work and then typing too.  And baking.  And pumping.  But the light at the end of the tunnel can be seen on this one.  To make decisions harder, I got a raise at work...a nice raise.  And I have taken on more responsibilities at work and have been promised another raise of at least 1.00 an hour in June or July.  I would say they are trying to entice me to stay but they don't know I am leaving so it must just be that I am awesome.  :) 

4.  The weight, for the love of all that's holy, the weight.  Ok so I started the pregnancy at 137.  Gained up to 168.  I am currently 146.  So only 9 pounds to go but I have only lost 2 pounds in the last 3 weeks.  The rest fell of immediately postpartum and now I am stuck.  The dreaded exercise must be started.  Sigh. 

5.  The boys made it to the state quarter finals in basketball.  We went to that game and man, what an atmosphere.  The gym was full of fans that made the 3 hour drive and it was so loud and to know that these people were cheering for our kids was just surreal.  The look of joy on the boys face was  so great to witness.  The game was close the whole way and we ended up losing but that team went on to become the state champs so not to shabby on our part.  I got one whole day break and then the boy joined a traveling team.  I said ok, with the caveat that all games must be localish and since the schedule showed them all very close, it's all good, right?  Yeah, sure.  The boy had a tournament in Lenexa, Kansas yesterday.  I did not go, needless to say and of course the boy played 3 excellent games, scoring 20 plus points in each and making the all tournament team.  They won two of their three games (only losing to the 29th ranked team in the country)...not too shabby for a team that has never played together before.  So we have been in continuous basketball mode for 9 months now.  I think it's time to admit that basketball will be continuous for the next four (and hopefully the next eight) years. 

6 & 7.  Exhaustion, gone?  Nope.  I have PPE...postpartum exhaustion.  I think it is the pumping.  So stop pumping right?  It seems like such an easy solution.  And yet I am already retired from surrogacy, retired from pregnancy.  Pumping is my last link to my fertile years and I'm not quite ready to give it up.  So stop whining about it, right?  Check.  Whining will cease. 

So there you have it.  Life is a bit calmer than before but still not my idea of my perfect life.  However, I am working my way toward it.  I think the medical bills should be sent within the next few weeks and it' my belief/hope that by the end of April/early May I can give my notice at work and just stay home.  I feel confident that the typing will stay steady after that but if it doesn't I will find a part time job of some sort.  Once I don't work so much, I can work out more and the weight will resume it's downward trend (eat less chocolate you say?  Blasphemy).  Basketball...well at least I like to watch basketball.  And the pumping...I'm giving myself permission to be a bit flaky when it comes to that.  So if you see me in 10 years and I'm still pumping, ignore it and pretend it's perfectly normal.  We all get to be a bit flaky on some things, right?  Plus the milk is currently feeding a baby that can't take formula.  His mother just drove up to get the first shipment and when I gave her the 700 ounces, she asked what i wanted for it and when I said I just wanted a chance to snuggle that baby of hers for a moment, she passed him over with tears in her eyes, gave me a hug, and said thank you.  It reminded me of a month ago, in the hotel in Columbia, when the Canadians grandmother gave me a heartfelt hug and whispered thank you in my ear.  Sometimes the only payment you need is the way something makes you feel and a heartfelt thank you.