You know when you go to a job interview and they ask you to summarize yourself in ten sentences or less? I suck at that. So this will be long and boring. I will try a one sentence condensed version for those of you lucky enough to have lives.
I am a lab technician with a whole bunch of kids and the strange but satisfying hobby of growing babies for gay men.
Those of you with lives, skedaddle on back to them. Those of us with no lives can continue on here.
Okay so who am I? Good question. Do you ever look back on your life in puzzled wonder asking yourself how you got to where you are? Not in a bad way, just in a totally confused, how did this happen kind of way? That sums up the last ten years or so of my life.
Ah but I digress. Let's just stick with the facts. This is after all an introduction. There will be plenty of time later for the details.
Maybe a question and answer session would be easier.
Q. What do you do for a living?
A. Hey an easy one.....I am a lab tech at an ethanol plant. Love it.
Q. Are you married?
A. Another easy one.....yep for over 7 years to a guy whose only fault is that he's too sensitive. In the grand scheme of things, that's a win all around.
Q. How many kids do you have?
A. Hmmmm.....How would you like me to count?
2......I have two surviving biological children.
3......I have a total of three biological children...one passed away the day
after she was born.
5......I have two biological kids and three step kids.
9......I have two biological, three step and four surrogate babies.
10.....I have two biological, three step, four surrogate and am pregnant
with surrogate baby number 5.
Q. Tell me about your kids.
A. Hmmmm.....yeah no thanks. Of the five, currently three are on the straight and narrow path. The other two are.......not. NEXT QUESTION.
Q. What are your political views.
A. Socially liberal, fiscally conservative.
Q. Organized religion?
A. I'm Catholic. (That gets interesting when you factor in the whole "surrogate for gay men" thing). Purgatory is awaiting me. Lots and lots of purgatory.
Q. Why are you a surrogate for gay men instead of traditional couples?
A. I am a coward and don't like to see the emotional pain of others. I knew that if I was a surrogate for a traditional couple that they would come with a history of heartache and pain and I didn't want to see that. I prefer the joy that comes from surrogacy for gay men.....they just need a surro because they don't have the proper equipment for baby growing. (Turns out gay men come with their own set of obstacles sometimes.....who knew?)
Q. Any more surrogacies after this one.
A. Ummmm that would be a no. Maybe. Definitely a no. Maybe.