To wean or not to wean

I have been pumping for 50 weeks now.  It has positives and negatives:

Positives:

5 times a day I get to read my book while I pump

I get to eat like a crazy person and still not gain weight, in fact my weight has slowly dropped, and I will lose another five pounds of boob weight when I wean

I babysat my exclusively breastfed one week old grandson last night and had no issues because I could breastfeed him.  (Chill out...his mom and I talked about this...I didn't just randomly breastfeed him). 

I donate to two babies and send my leftovers to the PMB so it allows me to continue feeling like I am helping others, my favorite part of surrogacy. 

Negatives:

Ouch

I miss sleeping without a bra

I have a more intimate relationship with my pump than I do with my husband

It takes up those crucial 8 minutes of free time I have each day 



So yeah...I want to stop pumping.  I'm over it.  But when I think of stopping I get an almost panicky sensation.  This is it.  The last link to the fertile years.  I know, I know...get the heck over it already woman.  You are almost 42.  The fertile years are supposed to be over.  GROW UP.  If you stop you can train for a 10K without almost putting an eye out.  You will have free time. 

I feel like I need an intervention.  I wish I could just stop cold turkey but that's probably not going to happen since I pump 6ish times a day and exploding boob syndrome doesn't sound like something I want to explore. 

If someone could please fedex me some willpower it would be much appreciated.