Saturday, February 9, 2013

39 weeks

Holy crap.  Sometime in the next week to ten days I will have a baby.  And that will be the last baby I will ever have.  As the kids's about time.  40 is kind of ridiculous to be still having babies (gotta love the honest truth from the mouth of 14 year old boys). 

So how do I feel?

Anxious...about the c-section.  I hate them.  But after an hour of surgery and an hour of recovery, it's ok.  Just have to get through those two hours.

Excited....for the guys.  They sound so excited.  I try to put myself in their shoes and just can't.  It's been so long since I anticipated the birth of my first. 

Ready...I am tired of the comments at work.  I am tired of people misunderstanding the motivations behind surrogacy.  I am just plain tired.  I feel sorry for those who can look at surrogacy and only see the money.  I am done being bitter or angry about it and now just feel sorry for them.  I am glad that I can see all sides of most issues and don't go through life bitter and angry and judging others.  I am glad i am not missing out on the joy in life like they are. 

Tired...self explanatory.  I have a busy life.  I am not a spring chicken.  I am 39 weeks pregnant.  Enough said. 

Sad/happy/nervous...also self explanatory.  Sad that this is my last pregnancy and I will never feel this feeling again.  Happy that this is my last pregnancy and I can move on and find out who I am again.  Nervous that this is my last pregnancy and I have to move on and find out who I am again. 

So that is it.  I will post a pic in a few.  The belly continues to grow.  I had an ultrasound the other day and they estimated the baby at 6lb12 oz.  I will be surprised if he is that small but you never know I guess. 

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