Sunday, September 5, 2010

Our first grandchildren

So I am only 38 and was not at all excited to be called grandmother. But life is not always (read never) about what you want and what you are excited about so when the step daughter turned up pregnant, we tried to embrace it. We were scared for her because we knew she was not ready to be a mom. We were scared for us after we found out it was twins because we knew that in all likelihood we would end up raising them. One baby she might have been able to do but two would be beyond her. We tried to gently guide her to adoption but the noteriety of twins had her burying her head in the sand about the reality of the situation.

Yesterday morning, at 10:30 am we found out that her water had broken. I ran to the hospital down the road. After examination they sent her in an ambulance (at 105mph) to a larger hospital an hour away. After many hours and many tests, it was determined that the pregnancy could not be saved. 12 hours after the ordeal began, she delivered the first twin. An hour later, the second was born. To see my child in that much physical and emotional pain is something I hope to never have to witness again. I guzzled bottle after bottle of water, praying that Cletus would hang in there throughout the long day on my feet and he did thankfully.

Step daughter is trying to move forward. We are trying to adjust to yet another sudden change. We were quietly rearranging our life in preparation for full time parenting of newborn twins and we no longer have to do that. Tears are very close to the surface today. The whole experience brought back memories of the birth and death of my daughter 15 years ago. I pray for peace for my step-daughter and my poor husband.

I have never seen a fetus at 19 weeks gestation and had no idea that they would be red. They were both perfectly formed, though the girl was much larger than the boy. They had fingernails and toenails and were beautiful.

1 comment:

  1. I delivered my surro daughter 7 weeks ago at 19 weeks gestation and it is hard. I will be praying for your step daughter.