Do you do the black friday shopping? I don't but I am impressed by those who do. I don't like crowds so it's not my cup of tea. I did make Joe go to Sears last year and buy laundry detergent for half price and that has lasted us a year (and we do four loads of laundry a day between his work clothes, my work clothes, basketball clothes for the boy and just regular clothes).
We are having a quiet Thanksgiving at home today. I have to work a bit at job one and do a bit of typing but not much of either. We will be baking and just vegging out mostly.
27 weeks 4 days pregnant now and just cruising along. This baby is really active. I am thankful that things are calm with the pregnancy and praying for no early labor.
Basketball started last Friday with a scrimmage. Confusingly the boy warmed up with the varsity and wore the red varsity uniform but the actual kids that played varsity wore white. So he played jv in the varsity uniform. The coach said he wanted to designate the three players who were both jv and varsity so that people would know they were both. Weird. The coach also talked to us after the game and told us that the boy is the first freshman he has ever put on varsity at the beginning of the year. He said that other have worked up to varsity mid way through but he has never started a season with a freshman on varsity. The real season starts next Monday. There's an in town freshman tournament and an out of town varisty tournament, both all next week. We will be heading to the out of town varsity tournament. Luckily it is only about 30 minutes from my job so I can just go straight from work.
Saw (aka chased after) the grandbaby for four hours the other day. Man you forget how busy they are. She is adorably but ornery. She talks constantly but we're not sure of the language...I think Swahili, Joe thinks German.
And that's about it for us here. Hard to believe that in 12ish weeks the Canadian will be here, I will be done with pregnancy and moving forward into other areas of life. I think I have decided to take a huge plunge and really change my/our life in a certain way and I am excited and nervous. Only good things to come. :)
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
What I have learned
I have been in the surrogate world for a long time and as I sit here, nearing the end of my surrogacy days (yes I know I've said that before but I feel in my bones that this is my last surrogacy...I really am done, finally), I realize what a gift the whole experience has been. On a message board I belong to, there is a post about what we have learned as surrogates and as I was reading through the responses of others, I came across one response that totally sums up my feelings on surrogacy. So courtesy of Susan, here's what surrogacy has taught me.
I've learned the most gracious gift of my lifetime thus far,
I've learned how to let go and love at a distance. Being a surrogate mother has been some of the most beautiful and sad moments/days/months/years of my life!
I've learned that I've given back to the Universe what it gave me, life.
I've learned how to respect those opinions that may not be like mine.
I've learned that I've taught my boys a very deep meaning of giving to others.
I've learned that some feelings you experience in surrogacy just simply don't have words to express them.
I've learned that giving "life" was a gift I was meant to give to others
I see so many people talking about surrogacy lately. It's the hot topic I guess. But to those of us who've been around the surrogacy world for awhile it's not a hot topic, or the latest thing, or the new way that celebrities get babies. It's just a part of our lives, this wonderful aspect of our already full lives. For me, the time has come to move on. I'm too old, my kids are too busy, my uterus has been occupied too many times and cut too many also. I don't envy the new surrogates starting out...it's a different world now and I fear government regulation is not too far down the road. I think a part of me will miss surrogacy but a part of me will be relieved. I can lose weight and get healthy and actually stay that way. I can focus my time and energy on myself and my family. But surrogacy will always be a part of my life. There will be six babies in the world that I helped to create through surrogacy. There will be four families that I helped to expand their definition of family. Together these men and I not only grew babies, we made families, turned men into parents, turned parents into grandparents. What a ride it has been.
14 more weeks with the Canadian and my life will change forever. For me there is no going back...who was I 8 years ago when I first explored surrogacy? I was a mom to kids that ranged in age from 13 down to 6. When I deliver my kids will range from 21 to 14. I am excited to see what the future brings for me and my family and to see what the next adventure might be.
I've learned the most gracious gift of my lifetime thus far,
I've learned how to let go and love at a distance. Being a surrogate mother has been some of the most beautiful and sad moments/days/months/years of my life!
I've learned that I've given back to the Universe what it gave me, life.
I've learned how to respect those opinions that may not be like mine.
I've learned that I've taught my boys a very deep meaning of giving to others.
I've learned that some feelings you experience in surrogacy just simply don't have words to express them.
I've learned that giving "life" was a gift I was meant to give to others
I see so many people talking about surrogacy lately. It's the hot topic I guess. But to those of us who've been around the surrogacy world for awhile it's not a hot topic, or the latest thing, or the new way that celebrities get babies. It's just a part of our lives, this wonderful aspect of our already full lives. For me, the time has come to move on. I'm too old, my kids are too busy, my uterus has been occupied too many times and cut too many also. I don't envy the new surrogates starting out...it's a different world now and I fear government regulation is not too far down the road. I think a part of me will miss surrogacy but a part of me will be relieved. I can lose weight and get healthy and actually stay that way. I can focus my time and energy on myself and my family. But surrogacy will always be a part of my life. There will be six babies in the world that I helped to create through surrogacy. There will be four families that I helped to expand their definition of family. Together these men and I not only grew babies, we made families, turned men into parents, turned parents into grandparents. What a ride it has been.
14 more weeks with the Canadian and my life will change forever. For me there is no going back...who was I 8 years ago when I first explored surrogacy? I was a mom to kids that ranged in age from 13 down to 6. When I deliver my kids will range from 21 to 14. I am excited to see what the future brings for me and my family and to see what the next adventure might be.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
It happened like this
Want to hear a funny story or two? Let me tell you about the 20 week ultrasound. Fairly hilarious. At the time I still hadn't bought a car and was driving the great black beast still. I wanted to be able to meet the guys at their hotel and give them a lift to the ultrasound so they would not have to navigate. So I asked the neighbor (62 year old bachelor man) if I could borrow his Honda. He said sure. What could go wrong, right?
Soo....as I'm driving away from the house the check engine light comes on. I call the hubster and he says yes he knows this, that the car has an appointment next week and it's just a sensor issue. Surely he wouldn't let his pregnant wife take off on a 50 mile journey in the neighbor's broken car so I continue on. At the next stop light I glanced in the back seat and noticed how dirty the car was (like cluttered dirty, not really dirt dirty). Anywho, I then noticed cigarette papers in the back seat and other assorted items that led me to wonder just a bit about my neighbor. I got to the hotel and confessed to the guys that I had my neighbors car and was not altogether sure that I wasn't driving a mobile drug lab so maybe we should just take their rental car...which turned out to be a minivan.
Soo...we drive to the ultrasound place and they have no idea it's a surrogacy. She calls us back and looks at the guys in a confused manner. She asked who the father was and I said I didn't know (we put in 2 embryos and only one took so yeah...once again I'm pregnant with an unknown). She got an even more confused look on her face and whispered in my ear, "So you brought both possible dads to the ultrasound?" I knew what she meant but in the spirit of the day I calmly said yes, that they were both possibly the father and we would find out after the birth who the father was. She was great to the guys but continued to shoot me "wow you are a big fat whore" looks. It was hilarious. On the way out one of the guys pulled her aside and told her it was a surrogacy but by then I think it was too late and she didn't believe us.
Just another adventure in surrogacy. My life is going to seem so boring after I retire. :)
Soo....as I'm driving away from the house the check engine light comes on. I call the hubster and he says yes he knows this, that the car has an appointment next week and it's just a sensor issue. Surely he wouldn't let his pregnant wife take off on a 50 mile journey in the neighbor's broken car so I continue on. At the next stop light I glanced in the back seat and noticed how dirty the car was (like cluttered dirty, not really dirt dirty). Anywho, I then noticed cigarette papers in the back seat and other assorted items that led me to wonder just a bit about my neighbor. I got to the hotel and confessed to the guys that I had my neighbors car and was not altogether sure that I wasn't driving a mobile drug lab so maybe we should just take their rental car...which turned out to be a minivan.
Soo...we drive to the ultrasound place and they have no idea it's a surrogacy. She calls us back and looks at the guys in a confused manner. She asked who the father was and I said I didn't know (we put in 2 embryos and only one took so yeah...once again I'm pregnant with an unknown). She got an even more confused look on her face and whispered in my ear, "So you brought both possible dads to the ultrasound?" I knew what she meant but in the spirit of the day I calmly said yes, that they were both possibly the father and we would find out after the birth who the father was. She was great to the guys but continued to shoot me "wow you are a big fat whore" looks. It was hilarious. On the way out one of the guys pulled her aside and told her it was a surrogacy but by then I think it was too late and she didn't believe us.
Just another adventure in surrogacy. My life is going to seem so boring after I retire. :)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Viability
Holy spit has it really been 3 weeks since I posted? Bad blogger. Not much going on here. This baby sleeps all day as I scurry about the lab and then dances all night while I am typing or trying to sleep. I'm sure the dads will so appreciate my turning their baby into a night owl. One of the dads is an ER/ICU physician so at least he is used to the night shift.
I took a picture at 24 weeks. The belly looks less round because the baby has stretched out.
I took a picture at 24 weeks. The belly looks less round because the baby has stretched out.
So far the pregnancy is pretty uneventful. I am tired but that's to be expected.
Boy#2 is in hell week of basketball practice. He comes home dripping with sweat every day and exhausted. He made the JV team to start and will play some Varsity which is about as good as you can expect as a freshman.
Both kids got straight A's on their report cards for the first six weeks so yay for that. The three older kids are all good. The grandbaby is adorable (cue adorable grandbaby picture)
Also, I bought this. As opposed to my 12mpg that I was getting in the truck, I am getting an average of 45 mpg in this puppy. The gas savings almost pays the car payment. Woo hoo.
And that's about it for us. We work, we take care of kids, we eat and sleep. Life is fully and busy and good. And that's it. Hopefully my OB will be back from maternity leave in December so I can see her, not that I'm dying to drive 60 miles each way for a ten second appointment.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
21w5d
We'll start with the obligatory unflattering picture and go from there.
First I will point out how much the Canadian has grown. So much for that grand theory of growing a mid-sized baby so that the old uterus does not rupture. This kid is going to be huge.
Second i will point out the horrendous wallpaper under the mirror. Think that is bad? Two of the walls in the same bathroom have blue paisley wallpaper. Apparently the previous owners thought matching the colors was more important than matching the styles. And it's wallpaper. Ugh. Project number 3503 to be tackled when we have time.
Third i will point out the awesome new iphone I clutch in my pudgy fingers. The hubster bought it for me. I've never had a data phone...heck I've never had a phone that takes good pictures. Love it. He's a tech geek so buying me an iphone is pretty much his way of saying I love you. He also gets me flowers every single week. I'm spoiled.
What else is going on? We have stepped up to seriously car shopping. What I want (cute, zippy, manual transmission) and what we need (four doors, enough back seat space for two growing teen boys) are vastly different. Let's see what we end up with. We have also started car "looking" for the boys. We need two cars for them that are different and yet neither can be cooler than the other. I found two Dodge Neon's but they seem less than amused by them. I'm not sure what we'll end up with. I know, I know...we could make them share a car but we probably won't. They have different friends and different activities and we don't feel it's right that if one of them wrecks a car the other would not be able to drive if they were sharing. And yes, we know that cars are not necessities for teens but these are both good kids. They do what they are supposed to, both have straight A's, they are polite and well behaved and we would like to get them cars. Speaking of which....have you looked at car insurance for a teen boy? Egads...now imagine that times two. I put it in the budget (my budget is long term and goes through 2017...I'm anal like that) and it makes a serious dent.
The guys have returned home from their visit. We will see them again in 18 weeks or so when the Canadian makes his appearance. He is VERY active in the evenings when I finally lay down for the night and the hubster and I enjoy watching him squirm. I'm really soaking up this final pregnancy and making peace with this being the last time i get to enjoy this. I love pregnancy and will really miss it.
We got corn for work so no imminent layoff. I'm so happy for all the guys who would have really been hurt by a layoff. Our workload has doubled in the last few weeks as we do additional studies and try to figure out how to incorporate milo into our system. I'm the chemistry person at work so I've spent a lot of time lately doing molarity calculations and mixing chemicals but it's all good. Life is full and busy at work and at home.
My co-worker and I were talking about our bucket lists the other day and I decided that after this baby I'm going to start tackling a few things on my list. First up...learning to scuba dive. Not sure where or how but there you have it.
Basketball practice starts at the end of the month and games start in late November. They have 9th grade, JV, and Varsity here and the boy made the JV/Varsity team. He will play mostly Varsity but some JV too. He will not be starting Varsity but he's only a freshman and so he didn't expect to start. There are a lot of seniors that have earned those starting slots. He has been playing all summer and fall with the high school team on a traveling squad and really enjoying it. Me...not so much. It is very physical and I'm always scared they will break him. He came home a few weeks ago and his hand was swollen to twice its normal size. Egads. I think we will definitely have to change health insurance to a better plan in January as we currently have an 8,000 dollar deductible and I see many sports injuries in our future. I think I can switch to a 2500 dollar deductible. Kids both have eye appointments on Monday...glasses for one and contacts for the other.
Speaking of the boys...one of them has discovered girls and now has a girlfriend. A junior girlfriend. A 17 year old junior girlfriend. She's an athlete and a nice girl but it's just weird. He's 14 and a freshman. He's mature for his age and 6 feet tall and has red hair and everyone tells me he looks like Prince Harry so maybe that's it? I don't know. I just know they are growing up way too fast and before we know it our house will be empty of kids and it will just be the hubster and I looking at each other with blank stares saying "What now?"
And that's about it. I really have no pregnancy complaints. I occasionally have a touch of heartburn but not much. The Canadian thinks it is funny to sit on my sciatic nerve and put my leg to sleep but that always passes. Fingers crossed for another few months that are complication free.
Until next time.
First I will point out how much the Canadian has grown. So much for that grand theory of growing a mid-sized baby so that the old uterus does not rupture. This kid is going to be huge.
Second i will point out the horrendous wallpaper under the mirror. Think that is bad? Two of the walls in the same bathroom have blue paisley wallpaper. Apparently the previous owners thought matching the colors was more important than matching the styles. And it's wallpaper. Ugh. Project number 3503 to be tackled when we have time.
Third i will point out the awesome new iphone I clutch in my pudgy fingers. The hubster bought it for me. I've never had a data phone...heck I've never had a phone that takes good pictures. Love it. He's a tech geek so buying me an iphone is pretty much his way of saying I love you. He also gets me flowers every single week. I'm spoiled.
What else is going on? We have stepped up to seriously car shopping. What I want (cute, zippy, manual transmission) and what we need (four doors, enough back seat space for two growing teen boys) are vastly different. Let's see what we end up with. We have also started car "looking" for the boys. We need two cars for them that are different and yet neither can be cooler than the other. I found two Dodge Neon's but they seem less than amused by them. I'm not sure what we'll end up with. I know, I know...we could make them share a car but we probably won't. They have different friends and different activities and we don't feel it's right that if one of them wrecks a car the other would not be able to drive if they were sharing. And yes, we know that cars are not necessities for teens but these are both good kids. They do what they are supposed to, both have straight A's, they are polite and well behaved and we would like to get them cars. Speaking of which....have you looked at car insurance for a teen boy? Egads...now imagine that times two. I put it in the budget (my budget is long term and goes through 2017...I'm anal like that) and it makes a serious dent.
The guys have returned home from their visit. We will see them again in 18 weeks or so when the Canadian makes his appearance. He is VERY active in the evenings when I finally lay down for the night and the hubster and I enjoy watching him squirm. I'm really soaking up this final pregnancy and making peace with this being the last time i get to enjoy this. I love pregnancy and will really miss it.
We got corn for work so no imminent layoff. I'm so happy for all the guys who would have really been hurt by a layoff. Our workload has doubled in the last few weeks as we do additional studies and try to figure out how to incorporate milo into our system. I'm the chemistry person at work so I've spent a lot of time lately doing molarity calculations and mixing chemicals but it's all good. Life is full and busy at work and at home.
My co-worker and I were talking about our bucket lists the other day and I decided that after this baby I'm going to start tackling a few things on my list. First up...learning to scuba dive. Not sure where or how but there you have it.
Basketball practice starts at the end of the month and games start in late November. They have 9th grade, JV, and Varsity here and the boy made the JV/Varsity team. He will play mostly Varsity but some JV too. He will not be starting Varsity but he's only a freshman and so he didn't expect to start. There are a lot of seniors that have earned those starting slots. He has been playing all summer and fall with the high school team on a traveling squad and really enjoying it. Me...not so much. It is very physical and I'm always scared they will break him. He came home a few weeks ago and his hand was swollen to twice its normal size. Egads. I think we will definitely have to change health insurance to a better plan in January as we currently have an 8,000 dollar deductible and I see many sports injuries in our future. I think I can switch to a 2500 dollar deductible. Kids both have eye appointments on Monday...glasses for one and contacts for the other.
Speaking of the boys...one of them has discovered girls and now has a girlfriend. A junior girlfriend. A 17 year old junior girlfriend. She's an athlete and a nice girl but it's just weird. He's 14 and a freshman. He's mature for his age and 6 feet tall and has red hair and everyone tells me he looks like Prince Harry so maybe that's it? I don't know. I just know they are growing up way too fast and before we know it our house will be empty of kids and it will just be the hubster and I looking at each other with blank stares saying "What now?"
And that's about it. I really have no pregnancy complaints. I occasionally have a touch of heartburn but not much. The Canadian thinks it is funny to sit on my sciatic nerve and put my leg to sleep but that always passes. Fingers crossed for another few months that are complication free.
Until next time.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Big baby
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Thank heavens
My friend has stabilized and has begun to recover. Thank heavens.
We find out in less than 24 hours what I am carrying. I still think boy but everyone else thinks girl.
And under the not so thank heavens heading we have:
We will probably get laid off from work in the next month. We will be fine financially but I really feel for some of the people who are the breadwinners with stay at home wives. This will really hurt them. Hopefully a miracle will happen and things will turn around.
We find out in less than 24 hours what I am carrying. I still think boy but everyone else thinks girl.
And under the not so thank heavens heading we have:
We will probably get laid off from work in the next month. We will be fine financially but I really feel for some of the people who are the breadwinners with stay at home wives. This will really hurt them. Hopefully a miracle will happen and things will turn around.
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