No one is listening to me

I almost wrote this post as a letter to my agency but decided to vent to my blog instead. No one is listening to me.


1. The guys insist I get New Life insurance even though my insurance has no surrogacy exclusion and has covered 3 surrogacies now, including one with hospital bed rest. But whatever, right. So I fill out the paperwork and find out that New Life doesn’t even cover any of the doctors in this area. So to be in compliance I would have to drive to St. Louis to deliver. St. Louis is 3 hours from my house. And not in the county that has the good judge for surrogacy. When I tell the guys this they either do not listen or do not care. I AM NOT DRIVING 3 HOURS IN A CAR IN LABOR.


2. I have been on lupron since the dawn of time. I am not bleeding completely on lupron. I need to be taken off lupron, put back on bcps and allowed to have a full bleed. Then we can restart the cycle. I am tempted to do this to myself but don’t want to defy doctors orders. So I just continue on the same stupid protocol that has not worked for 60 plus days now. Lupron makes me hungry and gain weight. But I’m on a weight loss challenge at work so I am exercising like a maniac and not eating much too just maintain my weight and barely lose a bit each week. Lupron also gives me insomnia. I have not slept in weeks. But the clinic is not listening. Or do they just not care?


3. The agency is nowhere to be found. I don’t know if they are busy or what but the only time I hear from them is when I email them every single damn month when the check is late.
I am tired of this. I don’t want to do this anymore. But I can’t just quit. My guys are counting on me. I don’t want them to have to start over. But I don’t think I’m ever going to suppress on this protocol. What should I do? How can I make people listen to me? I’m a 3x successful surrogate for heaven’s sake…why this time does no one want to listen?