Saturday, June 23, 2012


This whole not knowing if there is a baby or two or none or a pomeranian or a hedge hog residing in me is intolerable.  This whole continuing on with shots and meds when more likely than not I miscarried six days ago is intolerable.  This whole wait until seven weeks for an ultrasound when we all know that at 5 weeks we could see a gestational sac and get some reassurance and at 5w6d we might even see a fetal pole is intolerable. 

And if it's this intolerable for me, I can't imagine how it must be for the guys.  This is their child we're talking about here.  I have never thought CFA to be insensitive but in this situation, I think they are being insensitve to my guys.  For some reason they seem to be thinking spotting while I am talking murder scene/blood trail bleeding. 

Oh well.  11 days to go.


  1. I know it must be hard for you to believe that there could still be a baby or two in there, but even though it sounds like you had heavy bleeding, I would think if you'd miscarried you would have continued to bleed, I just don't think everything would have come out in that short time period (I'm only basing this on my own miscarriage, which was at 13 weeks so there was a whole lot more, but same idea basically). I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all of you.

  2. I did not think I would continue to bleed because of the meds. My understanding was that the meds would stop the bleeding until I discontinued them.

    I found a preggo test that tests at 5 levels: 25, 100, 500, 2000, and 10000. So in theory if I bought that (for 20 bucks) and got a line on the 10000 section, I could stop worrying because my beta on Tuesday was 5000ish so if there is a baby then I should be at 10,000 by now.

  3. Huh, I'm certainly not the expert in this area. With the first set of twins I spotted/bled from 5 1/2 until about 11 weeks, even though I was on meds. It was completely unnerving. Those SCHs really do a number on a person psychologically.

    How quickly could you get the test? I know I'd probably jump at it so I'd know what to expect at the u/s.

  4. I am so sorry you are in limbo land. I have to agree though with the first comment- in my experience there would have been bleeding for up to a week, much like a period after a while if it had been a total miscarriage. So there is a little hope for you to hang on to. And the test idea sounds like something you could maybe try for a peace of mind, and frankly, something to fill the time!

  5. Oh Susan... :( I am so so sorry they're not bringing you in to see what's going on... you and your guys are in my thoughts - hoping the remaining days pass swiftly...

  6. Well I'm a brat and I ordered the test. It will hopefully come in this week. 8 more days.

    Rebekah...I honestly think they didn't bring me in because they envisioned spotting. I dont' know.

    Fingers and everything crossed. I would not say I'm feeling positive or negative. It just feels like a continuation of the 2ww when usually after 3 great betas I would be nice and relaxed and just curious about what was in there. Oh well. Patience is a virtue, right?

  7. That sucks Susan. I would be terrified too. I k ow lots of people bleed during the beginning, but I never have and it would be awful. Hoping all is well and cursing the clinic with you for not making you all feel safe. Waiting for good news!