Came home 27 hours post c-section. Emotions are running wild as are the hormones. I hate this part of surrogacy and know from experience that the next two weeks will suck and the only way to get through is to get through it.
In addition to the normal hormones, there's the fact that I know I will never be preggo again and never be a surrogate again and those things make me sad. I wish I had discovered surrogacy years ago when I was younger and I wish I had not had 3 c-sections. But it is what it is.
Not sure what life holds for me now. I would really like to quit my job but I will hold off on making that decision for a few weeks....I never make decisions too quickly post surrogacy because it is the hormones talking and not me.
I feel strange and out of sorts and cranky and sad and proud and 100 other things all rolled into one. I kept Aurora in the room with me last night and it was really neat to snuggle her and change her diaper and nurse her. It helped me immensely to have that time alone with her and on the other hand, bonded me even more to her and made it incredibly hard to walk away today without crying.
Anxious to get back to work and get back into my new normal but my body is tired and only one day post surgery so I will have to take it slow. I have not had any pain meds since the surgery and I am feeling that.
Off to bed to get some sleep. Have not slept in 42 hours and that is part of the emotions I am sure.