You have got to be kidding me.

I'm not bi-polar. Really I'm not. And I promise that when I make a decision I usually stick with it. But sometimes.....well....I might be just a tad indecisive. Which brings me to today. So you know how I went all zen a few posts ago. Done with surrogacy. Happy to be done with surrogacy. Happy to have my body back. Blah blah blah. Ringing any bells? Today I got an email. From Circle. They have a couple that wants to transfer one embryo. Am I interested? This is the part where you would think I would say no after all my soul searching and enlightenment, right? Yeah not so much. My stupid indecisive heart went pitter-patter and got so excited you would have thought I ran a marathon. For pete's sake. So I responded that I would love to see their profile. That was 9:30 this morning. I obsessively checked my email every 19 seconds (give or take a second) for the rest of the day. No profile. Usually Circle will send one right away so I'm not sure if they changed their mind or just got busy or (heaven forbid) have a life. Surrogacy is always a roller coaster but this time is crazy. Approved, not approved, Couple found, couple lost. Sibling wanted, sibling not wanted. So I wait. Again. Meanwhile, I will strive to find my lower abs.....I know they're in there somewhere.