Monday, June 7, 2010

The great practictioner hunt

The following is a true account of my current search for someone to deliver the bloodsucking alien currently residing in my uterus. Names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the stupid....but for clarity I will keep my name the same even though I am, in fact, stupid).

Day 1: woo hoo. I'm pregnant.
Day 2: I guess I should find an OB. I'll just use the one I used last time.
Day 3: Oh wait.....the one I used last time was a spineless wimp who did whatever the maternal fetal medicine specialist recommended. And she monitored my cervix as if I was attached to a nuclear warhead. And because of said monitoring she allowed said MFM specialist to put me in the hospital for 31 days. And on home bedrest for 12 weeks. And when I delivered at term she said she was sorry and that she now though that nothing had been wrong with my cervix all along and that I was perhaps just "cervically challenged". Do I really want a repeat of that? HELL no. Plus she does not "allow" VBA2C.
Day 4: I will go to the birthing center in Columbia. Yeah....that's the ticket.
Day 5: Birthing center is closed. Bummer.
Day 6: Midwives have gone out on their own and are doing only homebirths. SWEET. I am all over this.
Day 7: Email guys to test the waters regarding home birth. They are not receptive because said OB from above convinced them Baby B almost died at the last delivery. In fact Baby B had fluid in his lungs because he did not pass through the birth canal and thus had to be on CPAP for an hour. Yep an hour. Guess an hour of CPAP with Apgars of 7 and 9 equals almost death. Hmmmm.
Days 8-10: Immature poutingon my part. Don't want the guys to feel uncomfortable with my birth choice (but I guess the don't give a darn if I am uncomfortable with their birth choice).
Day 11: Start hunting for OB.
Day 12: Find OB....She allows VBA2C with no mandatory epidural if all is well. She is natural. She is awesome.
Day 13: Go see OBs nurse for paperwork and bloodwork. Schedule appointment for a week later.
Day 19: OB calls to cancel appointment. Says she will not be in the office that day. Reschedules for a week later.
Day 25: see day 19. Yep cancelled again and rescheduled again.
Day 31: see day 25. The newly scheduled appointment will make me 18w3d preggo before I see the OB for the first time.
Day 32: contact midwives via email.
Day 33: midwives respond. I will be meeting with them tomorrow. They will be doing my prenatal care. It is not covered by my insurance so I will be paying out of pocket so my guys don't have to pay for this. When the guys get here I will discuss homebirth with them.

I will not try to "convince" them of a home birth. If they are hesitant or non-receptive I will simply show up at a hospital in labor and let the on call OB have at it. I know I may end up with a c-section that way and that is a risk I am willing to take to have good prenatal care.

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