Saturday, June 5, 2010

Stage 4

I found out a week or so ago that my younger IF has lymphoma. Today we received the devastating news that it is stage 4 and has metastisized to several spots in his body. He is in good spirits and fighting. His partner told me he banked sperm yesterday in hopes of baby number four some day. I am currently carrying baby number 3. They are hoping it is his biological child. We put in one embryo from each dad so we don't know which one stuck. For my sick IF I hope that this is his child. For the logistics of the situation, however, I hope it is the child of the other. How would his partner get the baby back to Sweden if he is too ill, or worse, to retrieve it? I have so many "what if" type questions that I can't ask because if I do I will reveal that while I have hope, I am a realist. I have degrees in chemistry and biology and took many the pre-med class. I have also lost many friends and family to cancer. Please help me to maintain hope and possitivity when all I can see are reality and sadness.

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